Cha-cha-cha-changes!!
We all go through changes, whether we want to or not, or admit them or not. I’d like to think I like the person that I have become more than the person I use to be, though the person I am now wishes she had some of the stuff the person I use to be took for granted.
I had my first visit to my Alma Matersince graduating two years ago, and it was an enlightening experience. I only managed to catch up with two of my former professors, but it just so happened that they were two of my favorites. Of course I had the fear that they wouldn’t remember me after two years, but apparently my insesent comment making, and excessive over due essays made an impression. One of the professors I spoke with was the one I mentioned in my last post, Dr. Wills, who’s first question was to ask if I was back doing my honours in English, which, if you knew my GPA, you’d probably wonder at. I suppose we aren’t always aware of the impressions we make, and the fact that someone I respect so much thinks I’m capable makes me not so ashamed of some of the half assed work I put in towards the end of my degree (read: I had a major burn out in third year and should have taken some time off, but in stead just didn’t hand in several major essays…somehow still passed…).
I don’t think I’d ever go back and do my honours, though maybe someday if I have extra money and free time (Ha!) I would consider auditing some courses since the class room atmosphere was really my favorite part. However, the comment did get me to thinking about the education that I would like to get, as in my forgotten design addiction. I’m still paying for my BA, and will continue paying for the next six years, so going back to school full time is essentially out of the question. Not to mention the fact that by the time I have enough money to go back and do the minimum two years it would take to get the accreditation I want I’d be in my thirties, makes me leery of devoting all my time and energy towards that goal.
Yet going back to MTA, drinking tea and eating a nice club at Mels, getting some fancy cup-a-joe at Bridge Street, hanging out at used book stores, just soaking up the atmosphere of learning and academia made me crave it again. I know this sounds corny, and I don’t usually go for that, but the feeling was acute and has remained with me for longer than a simple twinge of nostalgia ordinarily would. The result is a drive to make changes, to get things done that I haven’t felt in a long time. It’s easy to sit at your dead-end job, and your three hour commute and think, “If I stick at this for a while, it’ll get easier to do the things I want.” Now, I think, “Screw this, I’m going to get things done now.” There are ways to get certified and skilled that do not involve university, and considering that most of my current design skills are self taught this might even be the way to go.
I think my main hope is that by combining adobe certification with a BA in English, SOME publishing company will want me. Honestly, its gotta mean something. And if not, than….well, this website will probably look pretty friggin’ cool by the time I’m done, and I’ll have more reason to like the current me over the old one who had no idea what she wanted.
Posted: January 12th, 2008 under Design, Random Rants.
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