I have so much crap it’s not even funny. Honestly, I think my donations are what keeps the Salvation Army afloat.
Every time I move I tend to not just pack my stuff but to go through a sort of purge. First step is to put my entire music collection on shuffle, which usually results in me not only listening to music I haven’t thought of in years, but singing in the hallway at the top of my lungs. The second step is to usually get rid of half of my wardrobe as I brutally analyze which items I wear all the time, only when I’m running out of laundry, and never. I then go through random nick knacks and so on, usually producing at least two-three bags for donation and at least two bags to just throw out (no one needs my old floppies).
This time is a little more intense since I’m finally cleaning ALL of my stuff out of my dad’s house. Always before I could leave the stuff I wasn’t sure I wanted to part with there, but my dad’s getting ready to retire and he wants to fix up the house he has now so he can sell it and move to the country (ie as far from other people as possible). As such I’ve been going through sketches –nearly– as old as I am, little horse models people bought me when I was six, etc. There’s tones of things I used to like when I was young that six years later are as opposite to my style as possible. Getting rid of them was nice, like a final acceptance of what I have become. And not throwing them out, but giving them to someone who will want them is better, like a way to accept what I was.

Just a thought I had while looking at a porcelain sculpture of a cherub riding a pony version of a Pegasus.

Posted: January 28th, 2008 under Blog, Random Rants.
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I need to start drawing more pictures for other people, ’cause I always seem to do a better job than on the ones I do for just myself (probably ’cause I hate disappointing people, I guess). Like this one:  Certainly there are mistakes (like her stupidly long left leg, which I really need to fix somehow) but it’s probably one of my most finished pictures. Strange. Well, if anyone has some suggestions, I guess I’ll give them a go, it’s probably good to draw things besides the same old, just to flex your artistic muscles once in a while.

Posted: January 22nd, 2008 under Anime/Manga, Art.
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Getting some things done today. Rare day off and after procrastinating all morning I finally finished somethings, like setting up an appointment for my puppy’s yearly check up (what all good pet owners do! don’t wait for them to get sick before you do something about it, kids!), and finally finished sprucing up this page. Actually spell checked the sections (why hadn’t I done that already, I’ll never know) and customized things a bit more. Though briefly about integrating my portfolio into the new design but the current system is just way to easy (also, it would take me hours just to do the damn thumb nails). Anywho, if you notice something please let me know, otherwise I think everything is as I want it. Oh, and I added a few new pages to the Links section, and if you’d like to do a link exchange you can comment here or email me.

Posted: January 16th, 2008 under News, Uncategorized.
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We all go through changes, whether we want to or not, or admit them or not. I’d like to think I like the person that I have become more than the person I use to be, though the person I am now wishes she had some of the stuff the person I use to be took for granted.

I had my first visit to my Alma Matersince graduating two years ago, and it was an enlightening experience. I only managed to catch up with two of my former professors, but it just so happened that they were two of my favorites. Of course I had the fear that they wouldn’t remember me after two years, but apparently my insesent comment making, and excessive over due essays made an impression. One of the professors I spoke with was the one I mentioned in my last post, Dr. Wills, who’s first question was to ask if I was back doing my honours in English, which, if you knew my GPA, you’d probably wonder at. I suppose we aren’t always aware of the impressions we make, and the fact that someone I respect so much thinks I’m capable makes me not so ashamed of some of the half assed work I put in towards the end of my degree (read: I had a major burn out in third year and should have taken some time off, but in stead just didn’t hand in several major essays…somehow still passed…).

I don’t think I’d ever go back and do my honours, though maybe someday if I have extra money and free time (Ha!) I would consider auditing some courses since the class room atmosphere was really my favorite part. However, the comment did get me to thinking about the education that I would like to get, as in my forgotten design addiction.  I’m still paying for my BA, and will continue paying for the next six years, so going back to school full time is essentially out of the question. Not to mention the fact that by the time I have enough money to go back and do the minimum two years it would take to get the accreditation I want I’d be in my thirties, makes me leery of devoting all my time and energy towards that goal.

Yet going back to MTA, drinking tea and eating a nice club at Mels, getting some fancy cup-a-joe at Bridge Street, hanging out at used book stores, just soaking up the atmosphere of learning and academia made me crave it again. I know this sounds corny, and I don’t usually go for that, but the feeling was acute and has remained with me for longer than a simple twinge of nostalgia ordinarily would. The result is a drive to make changes, to get things done that I haven’t felt in a long time. It’s easy to sit at your dead-end job, and your three hour commute and think, “If I stick at this for a while, it’ll get easier to do the things I want.” Now, I think, “Screw this, I’m going to get things done now.” There are ways to get certified and skilled that do not involve university, and considering that most of my current design skills are self taught this might even be the way to go.

I think my main hope is that by combining adobe certification with a BA in English, SOME publishing company will want me. Honestly, its gotta mean something. And if not, than….well, this website will probably look pretty friggin’ cool by the time I’m done, and I’ll have more reason to like the current me over the old one who had no idea what she wanted.

Posted: January 12th, 2008 under Design, Random Rants.
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